Book Recommendation

I've just finished reading The Bitch in the House, edited by Cathi Hanauer. I am now reading its companion, The Bastard on the Couch, edited by Daniel Jones.

Each book contains essays by representatives from each gender. It's rather fascinating, I have found. Makes me think in new ways.

Commenting

I have gotten several interesting and thought provoking comments about the "Men are from Mars" post. I particularly like this one from a male friend of mine:

As a writer, you're not wishy-washy. You say it like it is. Or rather, as you see it. Otherwise, you'd be left with equivocation, which is 'tres boring.' But...

"How very simple—and dumb—[men] can be"? Ouch! It strikes me personally because in too many equations, I feel like the exception to any number of 'statistics' (which are mostly anectdotal, anyway): Men don't show emotions, men are afraid of their feelings, men are visually oriented, men think about sex all the time, men are better at math than reading. I don't want to be thought of as a freak, but that's the way any number of "truisms" about gender make me feel. And even in your example, I have no clue where I fit. While I don't in the slightest agree with the assholes chatting about the preschool soccer game, I'm no example of a "strong, healthy man" either. Ergo, I'm a freak. I don't want to be on any 'side' at all--I'm a human person. And so are they; I agree with you that they have some dumb-ass attitudes, but it's two attitudes from two dumb-asses, not representatives of all males.

Cease

I have received several comments lately about my writing here on this blog. With this blog I was hoping to delve more into my personal writing--another avenue other than my romance novels. And in the process it seems I have projected--to many, it appears--a negative or defensive attitude.

I guess I am confused now because I want to write what moves me, what angers or delights or saddens me. That's what writers do. But I guess by doing that on this blog I offend people. So perhaps this is just not the place I should express all of my thoughts. I don't mean to convey that in a negative or angry or defensive way--I wish I could somehow inject tone of voice into the written word--just in a matter of fact way.

I will take some time now to think how better to use this blog--if at all.

Men are from Mars...

A few weeks ago, I was in a car repair place to get an oil change.

Admittedly, such places have improved over the years. At one time these places were dark, smelled of oil and God knows what else, and had employees that uttered car speak in rough and mumbled tones.

Now, at least in some places, there’s now light and open spaces. Even plants and free coffee for the customers. Although there’s still car speak, a foreign language to many of us. But at least you tend to get a smile along with the foreign language.

Anyway, I was sitting in the lobby, flipping through a mag, a few other customers doing the same. After awhile I took notice of a conversation between two men. It went something like this:

Guy A: “My little girl, who’s four, is in soccer.”
Guy B: “Oh yeah? My boy—he’s nine—was in soccer. Now he’s in softball.”
Guy A: “Got a two year old girl, too. We’re not sure yet what she’ll do. Wife is kinda worried already about our four-year-old playing soccer.”
Guy B: “Yeah.”
There’s then a look between these men that seem to be some primal communication of testosterone.
A: “Yeah. A couple of weeks ago, my girl came crying to us when she hurt someone during the game. She knocked this other boy down—” again, that primal look—“and was sad she hurt someone.”
B: Chuckles. “Big league pays you to score. They don’t care if you run someone over in the process.
A: “Exactly! I told her the point was to score! Wife wasn’t too happy when I told that to our girl though.”
B: Again, another look. This time of mutual understanding of the incomprehensible workings of the female mind. “Yeah, too bad.”

This man’s four year-old daughter is showing signs of empathy and instead of nurturing it this man wants to squelch it in favor of winning.

And they say the female mind is warped!

Isn’t that why many wars are started these days? It’s to achieve a goal at any cost rather than mutual compromise. It’s often—not always—about who’s bigger, better, stronger. This microcosm frightens me but also explains so much about men. How very simple—and dumb—they can be.

And it is, sadly, only one of too many examples.

I beg for examples of strong, healthy men to drown out the seeds of doubt in my mind before all hope goes!

One Handed

I just wanted to write and say I am sorry I haven't posted in awhile. A couple of weeks ago, I got tendonitis in my left hand--getting old is so much "fun!" Anyway it's hard to write, let only get dress, with one good hand. :(

I have lots to write about, just not all the tools to do it. But I hope to be back soon, blabbering away on my blog! ;)